DEAR DR. RUTH: In 10 years of marriage I have had only one goodorgasm through sex with my husband. Of late I have beenexperimenting with a vibrator and now I rely on that for release fromsexual tension.
My husband knows my difficulty and is understanding - in fact,it was he who suggested my trying the vibrator - but we both wouldlike to progress from my dependence on the device to mutual pleasurewithout it. Dependent
DEAR DEPENDENT: It is good that he knows, because that clearsaway many emotional obstacles to having orgasms with him on asomewhat more regular basis. Once in 10 years is understandably lessthan either of you wants! I think the first step is for you to learnto pleasure yourself by easy stages without the device. Begin bybringing yourself close to orgasm with the vibrator, then finish withyour fingers, then show him how to do that for you.
In time you probably will learn to pleasure yourself withoutstarting with the vibrator, and may pass that stage. But thevibrator makes a desirable addition to the sexual repertoire.
DEAR DR. RUTH: I am a 66-year-old male and I have had a long andhappy sex life, but recently I notice that my ejaculation is only afew drops. What can I do to increase my flow? Senior
DEAR SENIOR: You need a medical doctor to answer your question,a urologist. I have to say that many older men have good sex liveseven though the flow of semen has diminished - that is not a bigissue unless it gets to be a big issue in the man's mind.Congratulations on that long, happy sex life - keep it up!
Send questions in writing for Dr. Ruth Westheimer in care of theFeatures Department, Chicago Sun-Times, 401 N. Wabash, Chicago 60611.
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